i liek it very much!!! it has a bit vitallic-style. only the 4 last notes of your melody are to be reconsidered i think. those 4 notes are too much steps. maybe try to do the first 2 of 4 the same notes and then the other 2 going down. or use 3 notes instead of 4: one long and 2 short, and maybe put some of those off-beat, so u get kinda "break" in the melody. but u have a very complete palette of sounds and rythms here, nice job!!!